Laird Hotel Melbourne, Australia
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Monday at the Laird

Monday is our no-event day (except Underwear Party, monthly, first Monday _ see below for details). We’re here for you when nearly every other bar in town is closed. Friendly vibe, cheap jugs, free pool & great tunes. Easy.


Bar open 5pm-late.

*1st Monday of month no public bar (Underwear Party)

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Step into Melbourne’s very own homo-honky-tonk for good times and quality tunes. Get a feed with our pizza and parma deals thanks to Billy’s Pizza, grab a cue and join the friendliest pool comp in town (7.30pm) or just pull up a stool and shoot the breeze. Yee-haw.

Bar open 5pm-11pm. Free entry.

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Game night

Trivial Hirsute, the cheekiest night at the Laird, brings all the boys to the yard every Wednesday night! Come take the trivial low road with host Dean Arcuri in this no morals team orientated game show where everyone’s a winner.

Cheap jugs plus ‘Pub Grub’ Pizza and Parma specials thanks to Billy’s Pizza.

Bar open 5pm. Games from 8pm. Free entry

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leather and fetish night

Spit And Polish is possibly one of the longest running weekly leather and fetish nights in the world. Dark beats, buzz cuts & boot shine create to the cruisy atmosphere, and the strict dress code ensures an intimate, open & comfortable environment for those passionate about the lifestyle they have chosen. For everyone else, Nuggets Bar and the Beer Garden are open all night with no dress code.

Spit And Polish dress code: at least one major piece of leather or rubber/neoprene gear (e.g. vest, shirt, chaps, jacket) or FULL armed forces/emergency services uniform.

Click HERE to view dress code.

Nuggets Bar open 5pm-late. Spit N Polish 9:30pm-late.

ALLIANCE: On Good Friday Eve and Grand Final Holiday Eve we bring you ALLIANCE - it's like Spit And Polish with more - DJ's, live demos and more. Free for Spit And Polish members (membership enquiries at the bar on Thursdays only).

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Man Friday

Pull up to the Bumper Bar and cruise your way into the weekend with DJ’s Jayson Leahy and Jason Conti.

Happy Hours to 8-9pm with $3 pots of all tap beers and cider.

Bar open 5pm. DJ’s 9pm-late. Free entry.



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Saturday Beat Saturday nights march to the beat of a different drum. No bangin’ music (unless it’s one of our awesome special events), a kicked back vibe in a masculine and friendly atmosphere. On the second Saturday of the month, the Laird plays host to Vice - a night for gear lovers and all men wanting to delve in to the darker side of life. The fourth Saturday of the month sees the big & friendly guys from Vic Bears take over for their long-running Den Night with BBQ’s, karaoke, games nights, competitions and more. Saturday Beat: A place for men.

Bar open 5pm. Free entry excl. special events


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The Sunday Social

It’s time to wrap up the weekend, Laird-style at the Sunday Social. Whether you’re wrapping up your weekend or just getting started, The Laird’s man-sized beer garden is the place to be.

The Sunday Social DJ’s Peter McNamara, Papa Tom and Jayson Leahy provide the perfect soundtrack as day turns to night.

Get your fill of hot meat from the BBQ from our 2018 hosts: Melbourne Spikers Volleyball, Laird Leatherman 2017, Melbourne Surge Water Polo and Melbourne Wranglers Wrestling Club.

Plus we’ll keep you well lubricated (orally at least) with drinks specials all day.

It’s the perfect recipe for long and lazy Sundays in the Beer Garden. Bottoms up.

Bar open 4-11pm. Free entry excl. special events

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underwear party

Our Underwear Party is well known for being as social as it is sexy, with guys taking the chance to strip down to the bear minimum & enjoy the cruisey atmosphere. Throw on your favourite, boxers, briefs, jockstrap or Y-fronts as we throw the best underwear party in town! And if you’re a little bit shy, just imagine that everyone’s naked! Male underwear only. Appropriate footwear must be worn at all times.

Doors open 8.30pm-midnight. No public bar. $10 entry includes cloak facilities.

Special Events - 2018
Jan 8th - FRESH! The (change of) Underwear Party. $10 on door
Feb 5th - The Swimsuit Edition. Mon 8th Jan. $10 on door
Aug 6th - AWOL Jock Party. Tickets $15+ fee from 1st July
Nov 5th - Melbourne Cup Eve - Tickets $15+ fee from 1st October

Click HERE for The Laird’s ticketing page.

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Melbourne Leather Men pub night

Monthly gear night - click here for more.

February and August: Code Black party - more

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VicBears den night

Join the VicBears crew for their revamped monthly social event, UNION.

Promsing a welcoming social night of fun, food, drinks and dance - it's where the bear tribe gathers!

Featuring fancy food, great drinks and beats by resident DJ David Virgona.

Click HERE to learn more about VicBears and their events...

Doors open 5pm. Free entry excl. special events

*Check calendar for special events.