February | March | April
WEEKLY
TUESDAY: POOL COMP
The Lairds’ Pool Comp is probably one of the friendliest in town, where guys can compete in a professional rules comp, with a relaxed not-too-serious vibe. The competition sized table (it’s bloody huge!) sits beautifully in our arena-style Pool Room. With classic rock & pop tunes plus cheap jugs all night, it’s a great mid-week night out.
Bar open 5pm-late. Pool comp starts at 8pm. $5 pool comp entry.
WEDNESDAY: GAME NIGHT
It’s A Cockout! - The Laird’s own game show is testing your pop culture knowledge and living out your game show fantasies. On your own or with your mates. Simply follow the questions on the big screen and battle it out to win a bunch of cool prizes. Hosted by the wise-cracking Nathan Little (As seen on Foxtel's Beauty & The Bear and in electro pop duo The Bad Father), this free event is one of Melbourne’s best kept secrets and a spectacular way to catch up with your mates mid-week.
Bar open 5pm-late. Game starts 8:00pm.
THURSDAY: SPIT N POLISH
Spit N Polish is possibly one of the longest running weekly leather and fetish
nights in the world. Dark beats, buzz cuts & boot shine create to the cruisy
atmosphere, and the strict dress code ensures an intimate, open & comfortable
environment for those passionate about the lifestyle they have chosen. For
everyone else, Nuggets Bar and the Beer Garden are open all night with no
dress code.
Spit N Polish dress code: at least one major piece of leather or fetish gear (e.g. vest, shirt, chaps, jacket) or FULL armed forces/emergency services uniform.
Nuggets Bar open 5pm-late. Spit N Polish 10pm-late.
FRIDAY: MAN FRIDAY
Man Fridays are all about catching up with mates, pub style. Men only, pub prices & tunes by Matt Doll. Matt (lead singer of The Blow Waves) excels in providing a fun & eclectic mix of tunes from yesteryear to now from his extensive catalogue of music.
Bar open 5pm-late. Happy hours 5-6 & 8-9.
SATURDAY: DEEPER
On the 1st & 5th Saturday of the month, we take things Deeper as Nick Shepherd & guests play sexy tunes creating a cruisey atmosphere. All men are welcome here, but it’s definitely a masculine vibe. We also have 3 regular Saturday events: MLM Pub Night (2nd); TRADE Night (3rd) and VicBears Den Night (4th). See our monthly section for details.
SUNDAY: THE SUNDAY SOCIAL
A big day out and home by 10? It’s possible thanks to The Sunday Social. With great tunes by Charles & Spanky and the classic Laird BBQ, it’s a cheap & cheerful afternoon. You want more? How about a chance to win prizes, vouchers, crap & more? Welcome to the latest in Sunday afternoon silliness: Cock Lotto. Drinks purchased from 4pm til just before the final draw will get you a shot at sticking your hand in a barrel full of dildos. Will it be a slab of beer? Free pizza? Porn? Something stupid? There’s only one way to find out ...
Bar open 4pm-late. BBQ from 6pm (gold coin donation required for BBQ). Melbourne Chargers BBQ 3rd Saturday of the month
MONDAY
Monday is our no-event day (except Underwear Party and Sing Stud — see below). We’re here for you when nearly every other bar in town is closed. Friendly vibe, cheap jugs, free pool & great tunes. Easy.
Bar open 5pm-late.
MONTHLY
FIRST MONDAY: UNDERWEAR PARTY
Our Underwear Party is well known for being as social as it is sexy, with guys taking the chance to strip down to the bear minimum & enjoy the cruisey atmosphere. Throw on your favourite, boxers, briefs, jockstrap or Y-fronts as we throw the best underwear party in town! And if yo’re a little bit shy, there’s a free shot of schnapps on arrival. Male underwear only. Appropriate footwear must be worn at all times.
Bar open 5pm-late. Underwear Party 8.30pm-late. $8 entry includes cloak facilities.
SECOND MONDAY: SING STUD
We’re adding another notch to our Monday night belt with a fun, free and most likely hilarious new event. Sing Stud is karaoke for blokes; in fact we could have just called it Blokeoke! Join host Sunny in Back Bar as we follow the bouncing ball through the night. Go duo, form a boy band ( or man band?) or maybe you like to do it alone! Just don’t take it too seriously!
Bar open 5pm-late. Sing Stud 8:30pm-late.
SECOND SATURDAY: MELBOURNE LEATHER MEN PUB NIGHT
Melbourne Leather Men meet on the 2nd Saturday of each month for a night at the pub. Pub Nights are an opportunity for leather men, their partners, friends and admirers, to socialise with other men who share a similar interest towards leather and its lifestyle. MLM Pub Nights are great for newcomers and experienced leather men alike. In March and August, MLM Pub Nights play host to the Code Black parties. Go to www.melbourneleathermen.com.au for more info
Bar open 5pm-late. MLM Pub Night from 10pm.
Dress: Leather, uniform & casual.
THIRD SATURDAY: TRADE NIGHT
TRADE night is all about turn-ons. On the 3rd Saturday of every month, sports gear, work wear, uniforms are the go. If it works for you, you can be sure it works for someone else. Hmmm, sounds interesting, but there’s something missing.... that’s right, hot pole-dancers! Our resident Pole Moles will groove and grind their way up & around the pole & keep you wanting more. The boys have no trouble finding the beat either, thanks to the down-tempo funky tunes by Papa Tom. TRADE also hosts themed nights & competitions, most recently Deep Throat (yes, a competition for going down) and Make Me a Pole Mole.
Bar open 5pm-late. TRADE Night from 9pm. Dress: work wear, sports gear and casual.
FOURTH SATURDAY: VICBEARS DEN NIGHT
VicBears welcome you to their monthly Den Night. This is your chance to get cosy with the friendliest furries around. VicBears Den Nights play host to some great events, such as Bearaoke and Boxing Day Bears. In 2011 the guys introduced Paw Play, their first ever night for gamers, with X-BOX, PlayStation & Nintendo Wii being played well into the night. The guys also put on a great BBQ in the warmer months. Go to www.vicbears.org.au for more Den Night info.
Bar open 5pm-late.